Cultureshock

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Video transcript

We had two boys me and the wife, we called them David and Philip, they were seven and five. Val had bought a bike for Christmas from Woolworths on Fawcett Street and left it with their Granddad.

On Christmas Eve we came to put the bike together and found pieces were missing - what a bummer. Val was crying and distraught – “its Christmas, Christmas is ruined!” I thought “I’m not having this” so I phoned the police! I asked the copper for the telephone number of the manager at Woolworths. He hummed and harred but I didn’t give in and he eventually gave it to me.

So I rang the number and I explained that Christmas would be a shamble if I didn’t get a bike with all the bits. He told me to come down the back lane round from the Continental Pub at Fawcett Street and rattle the metal gate, and the night watchman would let me in and change the bike. It was 10pm at night when I drove my van to the back lane; it was difficult to avoid the drunks. But when I got there, there were two gates! I hammered on the wrong gate for at least 5 minutes then got the right one.

The watchman let me in. I explained and he changed the bike, and then he invited me to stay. There were boxes pilled high in the middle of the floor with bottles of whiskey, vodka and lager. We drank and had a crack. I had the best night ever put it that way, I was a very happy man when I left – the cheapest and best Christmas Eve I ever had.

Our lass was so pleased and Christmas was saved.