Cultureshock

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Video transcript

Living and caring. It's one of my first memories. Crying in the night, Dad came for me and put me in between him and Mam where I slept till morning. Dad woke me saying, "Come on get up for school."  "I can't move," I said. He ran downstairs and phoned a doctor to come straight away.    The doctor examined me and said, "It shows the signs of polio". In the village where we lived polio was spreading fast.

Months in an isolation ward learning to stand and hold things again, away from my family who couldn't come into the ward for fear of catching the disease, left me feeling lonely but determined to overcome all adversities. I was alone at the age of four, I had to cope alone I had no-one to cry to. Once a week we were taken in our wheeled iron cots to the warm exercise pool, it was great fun. At Christmas we enjoyed Punch and Judy at the party.                  Mother rubbed my limbs with oil and I knew she loved me and protected me from mishaps. In caring for someone now, as my mother cared for me, seems most natural. The day starts with thoughts of others and where I need to be and at what time. What should I do to make things better? 

Each day I organise time to see family, friends and housework and also be available for my son at a moments notice. I wonder if my son realises I am always there for him, and I need him as much as he needs me. My need is to feel that I belong and that I am needed too.

For relaxation and to help me unwind I write my words in poetry and paint watercolour images which I use to make greetings cards. I’d like to read one poem titled 'Sad'.

'Sad'

I wish I understood your anger It's hard for me to know You never voice your fears I worry as "you come and go"

It's been so many long years now Think "It's your natural state" You walk around with head hung low Expression on your face is woe

I pray you find peace and happiness Surely you want that too Try to forget, forgive what happened in the past This time is yours to treasure, take enjoyment in things you do

If I can see you light in spirit, How happy I will be My child your anger finished No hatred for anyone, but mostly me.

I will strive all my days to guide and help him, be there whenever he needs me. Our trip to Beamish with other carers took me back immediately to my school days, the desks with inkwells and the teacher's high desk in the warmest part of the room. I had been at school for two weeks before I contracted polio. Five of us in the same class had contracted polio in the epidemic of 1953.

To see a little bit of life as it was, a time when I was free of commitments. It was a great day where we stopped when we wanted, walked and enjoyed the peace and reflected on life in general. As I drove home I was happy to receive a call from my son who was waiting for me. The circle continues.