The Squeaky Roller

Duration: 3:40 minutes
Accession No: TWCMS : 2009.271
This story has been viewed 5103 times

Colin tells a funny story of a gullible customer and a squeaky roller.

By Colin Ball

Other information

This story was inspired by a paint tin from the collections at the Regional Resource Centre, Beamish.

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Video transcript

Right, I was working down Ryton at Reasby Gardens for a Mrs Green. And she wanted her lounge and she wanted her kitchenette decorated. So the two lads I had on was the son-in-law and the son. So I said to the two lads, I said ‘Put the dust sheets down on the floor and cover the furniture’. So Mrs Green, it was, she says ’I’ve told me husband that you’ll do the lounge this morning and you’ll do the kitchenette this afternoon’. I says ‘Mrs Green, if they haven’t got the lounge done by half past ten’. I says ‘They can put their coats on and go home’. So she said ‘Half past ten!’ so I says ‘Yes!’, she says ‘What a bad boss you are’, I says ‘I’m not really’.

So the lads set away rolling the ceiling and as they were rolling it the roller was squeaking. She says ‘You want a bit oil on your roller Colin’. I says ‘No, I don’t, those rollers cost me twenty pounds with the squeak in’. She says ‘What’s the idea of the squeak?! I say ‘Well, if I’m working upstairs or downstairs and the squeak stops and them are upstairs, I know they’re not working’. ‘Bah!’ she says ‘You are a really bad boss!’ I said ‘I’m not because I give them ten minutes for their tea break’. So as time went on, it was quarter to ten, and they had one wall to do and I says ‘Right’. She says ‘There’s tea for you’, I says ‘Lovely’. So we had a cup of tea and I think they had one wall to do. They’d finished it by ten past ten. And I said ‘Well, you can wash out the gear in that time’. So they washed out the gear and they were all finished by twenty past ten. So I says ‘There you are Mrs Green, I told them they it they hadn’t finished by half past ten they would go home. Anyway, she said after that ‘Can you start?’ I said ‘Yes, we’ll start the kitchenette now, we’ll take the curtains down and put the dust sheets down’ and the same happened again and I said ‘They’ll finish the kitchenette by half past twelve’, it was just to emulsion and give it one coat of paint. And that was the finish of the job and we finished by half past twelve. So she got two jobs done just after twelve o’clock in the morning.

The beauty of this story is in the telling of it. What a warm voice. Reminds me of the old fellas down my local, who lend compelling, dramatic detail to otherwise commonplace stories! Posted on 11/01/2010 at 04:39:00

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